Social networks are the only venue I have to rant and vent whatever heartaches I may have. Aside from doing needle work or crochet, or reading a book or using a hammer and fix what needs to be fixed inside this house - the social networks have been a valuable lifeline for me. I'm on the lookout for a job still, always keeping a positive outlook no matter how hard it is for me. I listen to other people's problems, I try to cheer them up or at least be a shoulder for them to lean on. I know how it feels to be alone in a roomful of people. I know how it is to be gagged.
In my posts, it is unavoidable that the focus of my rant comes out. Because he is the reason I am suffering and suffering for my children and why my children are not getting the sort of life and childhood they truly deserve. They have been robbed of it, deprived of it and denied a childhood they can tell their children about.
Some people, perhaps; think that it is all just "fun and games" for me to vent. It is not a shallow topic when lives of children are concerned. When their future is at stake. I have been pushed into a corner, beaten psychologically into submission, threatened with abandonment if I were to have my way, my rightful place and what is legally mine. I have been very quiet on the outside, and my only sounding board is the social network which I thought would be with TRUSTED people. People who KNEW what was right from wrong, not for me but for my kids or any child who had a father such as this one.
Yes he provides. Yes he pays for all the bills. Its only natural that he does since I'm not working. But in saying that, he has no right to deprive us all and make us live in accordance to how he wants us to "have" based on what he is prepared to "share" with his own flesh and blood. And even when I was working, my measly salary went to what he could not provide or refused to provide these kids - a childhood. A weekend out of the house, malling, watching a movie in a decent theater and not some pirated DVD, eating decent food in a restaurant or a fast food and having fun with each other, visiting a museum, walking around parks.... I may not earn as much as he does but when I buy my children clothes or things to wear, I do not take them to an ukay-ukay store or make them settle for the cheapest pair of schools shoes or rubber shoes on the shelf. I get them the best that I can afford because they deserve it. He, on the other hand - does not. He makes them "settle" and demands subservience, usually, its the next thing to the cheapest if not the cheapest item in the store. In a nutshell, you do not shout at a 6 year old for asking P5.00 to buy fishball. THAT's the kind of person this TROLL is.
Enough of that.
For the traitor who made screen grabs of my comments in threads, I pray you survive only up to this summer. Because I CURSE you. I CURSE the very ground you walk upon, I CURSE the very air you breathe. You are a traitor, no better than the troll you took sides with. I will let the universe "take care" of you and what you did to us, to me. For destroying my trust in people, for putting that idea of doubt into my head, I CURSE YOU and I pray the demons take you before the end of this summer.
